More Quiet...

The first picture nursing at home.


And the most recent. How those eyes have changed and yet...

Nourishment in the Quiet

Swimming?

Swim class started off really well - the instructor insisted that Lucy was heads above other babies she had taught. I radiated with her praise, thought "I'm doing a great job getting this kid comfortable in the water." And, yes, she loves the water.

She splashes - not minding at all if her face gets wet, sticking her tongue out to catch the rivulets of water as they run down those baby cheeks. She squeals with delight at the wetness of it all.

She plays with the toys she is given - mostly sticking them straight into her mouth. But she is at home in the water. Well, she was at home in the water... but she seems to be getting less comfortable in it. The first day she was on her back, no problem, floating around and smiling. Now, she clings to me, grasping at my bathing suit. We got her used to being on her back in the water by nursing - perhaps that is what she expects now - but somehow I think the folks at the public pool might not smile on a nursing infant. Unfortunate.


We had a really great day when she finally conceded to what we'd been working on - blowing bubbles. And then, she decided to inhale. Now it seems nearly every time her face comes into contact with the water she gasps. I wish I could explain that it's supposed to go the other way.

Today she was really unhappy until I finally got her back in water that was shallow enough that she could touch. Then, she seemed at ease again - began blowing those raspberries that are the precursor to bubbles. So, we ended on a positive tone. Until next week, I think we'll do some nursing in the bathtub.

Bedtime Stories

What we're loving now: "Who are You, Baby Kangaroo?" and "I Took the Moon for a Walk" such beautiful artwork. Lucy love the pictures and as part of her bedtime routine, she has no doubt about what comes next - nursing and sleep and music: The Dreamland CD




Both the books are available through Barefoot Books - a wonderful company - please read more about them: Mama Goose

Today has been a good day - now that the election is over, I think I can finally relax.

Vote

Get out and cast your ballot. Not much to add to that - just a friendly reminder for the slacker generation. Today can be the day that history was made.

Swim Class

And what did our little fish do today? We started swim class. She's always loved the water - tried to crawl in the tub last night - but she was simply too excited today.

The class was excellent - a gentle introduction to the water with no "dunking." However, Lucy wasn't really in to taking direction today. She splashed and reached for the balls and was generally very happy to be in the water. When it came to kicking and blowing bubbles, she could have cared less.

I was impressed with the easy, guided approach, the excitement over each accomplishment and the praise that came from the instructor.
It was a bit strange to see my little girl in sposies for the class - she seemed so trim.

A Closer Look...

In our haste to get things done yesterday, I didn't get to focus on the actual froggie dress as much as I wanted to. So, here's another look.


The pattern was constructed from an existing dress and slightly altered. The buttons are found items.


The warts were created by tracing circular objects - tubes, etc - then the circles were cut, hand-stitched and stuffed with poly-fil for dimension.



I love the pattern - I'll continue to use and alter it (to be larger) for other dresses for Lucy.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween!
Here she is, warts and all:



Lucy enjoyed being a frog - or at least the attention she got. Somehow, every time I wasn't looking, her frog hat disappeared.
If you are interested in the frog hat - I can't take credit for it - but check out

ChickaBiddy Baby Boutique.


We took advantage of early voting and did our duty (and our privilege). Lucy got her sticker and wore it proudly for all of five seconds. Then, off to let the grandparents see her on her first Halloween. Of course, they approved.

And one more thing, a spot I've been enjoying lately:


Enjoy the weekend.

Sewing, Rainy Days, Missing Chickens

What Halloween costume to choose for your child the one year you are assured a pick? Well, coming to a consensus was no easy feat around our house. However, taking into consideration mama's fragile grip on sanity, materials on hand - hence budget, Ms. Lucy will be a frog. The costume is nearing completion - to be ready for its debut Saturday at a friend's party.

It's raining today which means being inside. While there are so many tasks that need to be accomplished (simply reread the above), I was hoping to savor the last few moments of lovely weather as we did yesterday. Of course, there will be more, in North Carolina there are always more lovely days - sometimes even in January. (Though hardly ever in February.)

We've lost three more chickens. The rooster and two hens. Some predator grabbed them the night before last. And now there are three. You know it's bound to happen when you have chickens, you just hope it doesn't.

My Turn to Dig a Hole

We lost another chicken. As Lucy and I walked to feed them yesterday afternoon, I noticed a motionless body, contorted with that glaze that death brings. Hopeful still, I walked closer thinking maybe the hen was just sleeping or hurt.

We don't know what happened, but it is possible that she was injured by a walnut and crawled back under the coop to pass. There was no observable trauma - so there's hope that she went peacefully.

Apple Yummy-ness

Before it's too late, I thought I'd share something we enjoy every fall. Adapted from the wonderful (and out-of-print) Whole Earth Cookbook, here's a recipe that is simple enough for an everyday dessert and delightful in that simplicity.

Ingredients:
Apples - around 8 cups.
Honey
1/4 lb butter - softened
1/2 cup sugar
1 Tbs. cinnamon
1 1/2 cups flour

Preheat oven to 375.
Cut apples into small 1/2 inch chunks. Place in casserole.
Drizzle honey over apples.
Combine butter with flour, sugar, and cinnamon until it resembles a coarse meal. Spread over top of apples.
Bake for about 40 minutes - until top is nicely browned and apples are tender but still crisp.

Enjoy!


And here we are Sunday, making delicious crockpot greens and barbeque. Wes made a spicy-sweet cornbread to accompany our dinner and the apple dessert was the perfect ending.

Garden Walkabout

Though I love the fall - it also means the end of the gardening season. It brings a beauty all its own, and yet it means leaving the splendor of summer behind. This has struck me powerfully the past few times we've been out on our walks. I thought I'd share some images from around the garden.










Have a lovely weekend. I'll be sharing a wonderful apple-delight next time - while they're still at their peak.

Feeding

Harvest time is coming to a close. It is one of those chilly, wet fall days that make me ready to hibernate. There are leaves plastered to the sidewalks. And, as I look up at the mountains they are gold, scarlet, evergreen.

I'm scrambling to make some preparations - certainly not all I had planned in this year of sleep deprivation, so much to do and never enough time. I am hopeful that I will find my stride soon.

Lucy is eating her vegetables:
Asparagus here. Despite my efforts to introduce her to many different foods, she still loves rice cereal best. I'm trying to take all the advice to shove new foods in her mouth with a grain of salt. Letting her explore the new tastes and textures is more important. Although I wish she'd truly enjoy all the fruits and veggies she's been offered. If you are looking for a good resource
for making your own baby food - it's easier and cheaper than you might think - along with many other tips and tricks, I love The Super Baby Food Book.

She does seem to love her carrots, especially as playdough.

These are the seeds from the giant butternut squash we harvested from our garden - ready to give us more beautiful squash next year.


Here are Lucy's two first pumpkins.

This time of fall makes me so grateful for the bounty of the land and the blessings and beauty of nature.

Prickly Business

It has been a few busy, sleep-deprived weeks here. We are trying Lucy on a new schedule - following Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution.

It seems to be working - knocking on wood with my fingers crossed. Lucy still isn't sleeping more than a few hours, but it is not constant nursing. She is teething as well - so that likely contributes to her trouble sleeping.


This weekend we gathered chestnuts. There are several trees in our backyard - I remember when I was little hating them because once they fell I couldn't go barefoot anymore. Especially frustrating in Indian Summer. These trees are Chinese Chestnuts. Wonderful, yes, but wouldn't it be great to have some American Chestnut trees? The American Chestnut Foundation's website
here.

It was such fun to have the family working for a common cause - Lucy on my back and Wes finding chestnuts everywhere.

Speaking of Lucy on my back - she loves her carrier. Every time she sees it coming, she squeals, and claps and is absolutely delighted. Unfortunately, that is making it harder to get her on my back - she's a bit too excited.

Fall - Gardening

As the season has changed, so has the format of the blog. I'm trying to find my stride here and thought fall, and all that it brings would be a good time to experiment a bit.

We found a four-leaf clover on Saturday. Lucy, her Gigi, and I all went for a walk to enjoy the cool weather. It was the first one we've ever found here. Lucy contemplated eating it.


Something about this season always excites me. There is a different smell to it, a different feeling in the air. This is Lucy's first fall and her daddy and I are both hoping that she enjoys it as much as we do. Wes asked yesterday if we could move somewhere that it was fall all year 'round. I wish that was possible. Although I suppose we wouldn't appreciate it quite as much... and when spring comes to the mountains, I'm tempted to think that it is my favorite season.

Here are the butternut squash we harvested on Saturday. The daddy and baby. There was an acorn squash which most resembled me, but we ate it before I photographed it.



Some of the leaves are already changing, and I've been hearing that it's going to be an early color season because it's been so dry.

Here is a volunteer squash of origin unknown. Hopefully, it will be tasty. It just sprouted out of our compost pile so I guess it's something we've eaten before.


And, for some reason the strawberry on our porch may start producing again. The ones we got early this summer were small but sweet.


And our collards are popping up. These are the ones we're trying in containers. The ones in the garden are much more impressive - probably because they were started earlier.


Here is the last sunflower of this year.

The rest have already had their seeds harvested for planting next spring and for feeding the birds this winter.

Enjoy this new season.

Meet the Chickens

We have seven chickens. Originally we had eight but one has mysteriously disappeared. We fear it may have become a subterranean chicken, scratching, pecking and laying in the bowels of the earth. There does seems to be an epidemic of fowl disappearances among those who keep chickens which has more than anecdotal evidence.


Here is the amazing chicken coop that my dear husband built out of salvaged materials, including part of my swing set from when I was little:


The second picture shows the coop with the nest box access door open - which makes collecting the eggs super-easy.



Right now we are getting two to three eggs a day. They taste so different from store-bought. They taste of the earth, fresh air, grasses, and insects the chickens eat.

Adventures in Milk Donation

So I've decided to become a human milk donor... I haven't yet been approved because it requires extensive medical testing - my DNA swab was sent off yesterday and my blood sample today. So keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out there.

The milk collected goes to premature infants in the NICU - babies whose key to survival is being able to gain enough weight. Previously, the milk supplement was always cows' milk. Now, these babies can get even more of what they need. The company I'm working with is run by two sisters. You can see all the amazing stuff they do at
Milkin' Mamas.

In my pre-mommy life, I donated blood and platelets frequently and was able to be more philanthropic. I think it will feel really good to be able to do something for other folks again - folks other than my immediate family.

The phlebotomist was a strange bird. She kept commenting on the political signs in the front yards in our neighborhood. (They sent a traveling phlebotomist to my house.) And she kept narrating everything she was doing in a non-specific way. "This goes over here. And then this goes on top of that. Now we'll move this." In any case, she drew my blood successfully.

After she left I got really weirded out - I didn't ask to see any credentials. What if the real phlebotomist shows up later? Was the needle sealed?

Felted Cube

I am trying to learn to knit. Tackling the traditional projects seems a tad blasé... I am knitting a crimson red poncho for Lucy that is taking me... much longer than it should. And, I've been itching to felt something. So today I started knitted squares... eventually there will be six which I will felt and so together to create a cube to stuff with poly-fill and a bell for Lucy.


The fabric hanging off the bowl to the right side is the first finished square. I've cast on the second and worked two knit rows. I hope this works.

Happy Little Accidents

I am borrowing this phrase from the late, great Bob Ross to describe and talk about conception. Specifically, the conception of our darling (sleeping, for now) daughter.

Wow, what a surprise. And, I hesitate a moment to say, shock. My mother and father tried for several years to conceive a baby before finally carrying a pregnancy to term (me). I was told it would likely be quite difficult for me to have children as well - which was fine. I thought I didn't want children. I was taking birth control pills.

For four nights, I woke with terrible abdominal pain. My husband insisted that I go to the doctor - he wouldn't leave for work otherwise. They did a pregnancy test - and when it came back positive - my jaw literally dropped. As did my mom's - she was in the exam room with me. I protested - "But we're moving to New York in two months for grad school." As if, somehow, that made it impossible - and it would reverse the doctor's statement of fact.

All this to say that I was mistaken. I do want children. Lucy has made everything better. Now, I too, am new. This world around us seen through her eyes is truly delightful.

Should I feel guilty to have this blessing I didn't want? I do. I do when I see our friends who've known their whole lives that they wanted to be parents and are devastated as another month passes with no sign of pregnancy.




Our lotus is blooming - another miraculous event. We've been watching and waiting as the flower stalk emerged and grew. Now it has popped and we'll enjoy the beautiful bloom for the brief time it's here. Hopefully we'll collect the seeds and have another plant or two next year.

The fall garden is going in very slowly. I am trying to remain optimistic. But, getting everyone together on what actually needs to happen is a battle.

DFW

So, my dear husband had some sad news for me this morning (actually he told me when I was asleep last night and I apparently replied but just-in-case he told me again this morning). David Foster Wallace is gone. We both feel as if we lost someone we know. What a shame to lose such a talented writer long before his time. So many literary greats have blinked out over the last few years. And with the snuffing-out of each one, we feel a little more alone in this world. We lose a voice which rose above the cacophony to describe our situation, to allow us to understand a bit of our own existence. I guess I want to say "Thank You" to all of them - DFW, Vonnegut, George Plimpton, and Hunter S. Thompson - off the top of my head. You are sorely missed.

I keep hoping it's all a ruse.

Check out his
commencement speech for Kenyon College 2005.

Think on it.

Birth Story

No exciting "A Baby Story" moments here.

Our dear daughter Lucy was born March 4 (progress day) at 9:36 AM. It was a Tuesday.

We had been working late on Sunday night painting our hallway - trying to get those last few nesting tasks accomplished. (Zero VOC paint) I woke up Monday with mild contractions, which I mentioned to the midwife at our weekly checkup. We came home and I tried to take a nap, it having been drilled into my head that labor is hard work. No nap for me, the contractions kept getting stronger.

I was ravenous. We had a huge dinner of black beans and rice and oven roasted tomatoes and homemade tortilla chips. I was still hungry so I called my mother (who lives next door) and she brought me all kinds of fruit - pineapple and blueberries. Then, I ate a hardboiled egg. I vaguely remember snacking a bit more... but on what I have not clue one.

Wes and I headed to bed and tried to sleep. Again, no sleep for either of us.

Again and again we had been told not to ask ourselves when it was time to go to the hospital, but to ask when I was no longer comfortable at home. I reached that point at 4:30AM.

We arrived at the hospital at around 6:00AM. There was a storm on its way. The wind was whipping through the mountains and so Wes had to drive quite slowly. My mother rode with us - the two of us in the backseat and let me squeeze her hands for the contractions.

Labor was progressing rapidly for a first-time birth - I was seven centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. I was placed on fetal monitoring briefly (although it seemed like ages) while they filled the birthing tub.

I had this beautiful vision of giving birth in the tub - being able to help birth my baby in the water. Well, it was not to be. I said I wanted the water hot... but it was... hot. The work of labor combined with the temperature made the tub unbearable. Before anyone could stop me I was out of the tub and back on the bed.

Once the relief of the heat was gone, the contractions were even harder than before. The midwife had me get onto my back - a position that they tell you avoid in natural birthing circles - but this was a bit different. I was flat on my back with my legs waaay up in the air - Wes holding one and my mom the other. I talked to Lucy telling her I needed her help and my wonderful husband and mother and midwife encouraged and praised me.

My water still hadn't broken... And suddenly while I was pushing it broke and shot across the room - hitting the midwife on its way.

Soon, her head was partially out and I was able to reach down and feel it - making her all the more real and giving me the motivation I needed for those last few pushes. And out she came, sucking her little thumb and, I'm told, quite purple.

Immediately, Wes placed her on my belly. And this soft, wet, squishy creature was part of my life. She had the most delightful smell. She just felt so good. Lucy was here.

Mommy Brain

This syndrome begins "Pregnancy Brain" and has progresses to "Mommy Brain." I am writing about the phenomena surrounding caring for another human being and the incredible strain it places on your mental aptitude. The symptoms include, but are not limited to: the inability to carry on an adult conversation, the loss of math skills (we're talking grade-school level here), and general ineptitude. Surprisingly, subjects' symptoms seem to disappear when questioned about their own children.

The first trimester I was tired and oh, so very, very dumb. The second semester, still tired but a bit better in that department... still quite stupid. Well, I had my baby and just about the time things started to improve after the birth of said child from within my body and the hormones began to subside. I could almost carry on a conversation of pre-pregnancy caliber again when sleep deprivation began to take its toll.

I don't mean to imply that I am or was the intellectual or conversational equivalent of... Mommy Brain has struck again. Most days ask me my age, name or any other relevant information and I won't have a clue. I may stare at you expressionlessly. And yet, through all this I can remember every aspect, every detail concerning my child.