No, I'm not taking a break from this blog (again). I am just reminded through my conversations with other mothers how hard we can be on ourselves. I found myself incredibly depressed, depriving my child simply because I was trying so hard to be that perfect mother. I stressed over the words-per-hour she heard, whether or not I was playing the right games or music... I found myself reading about what I should be doing, feeling guilty I wasn't doing it rather than just doing what came naturally.
Giving yourself a break can be incredibly liberating. Sometimes that means going to get your "hair done" (my break of choice when I can manage), other times it means that a dinner from scratch isn't going to happen, or just allowing yourself to enjoy being a mother, relaxing and taking a deep breath. Being there for your kiddos is all they really need or want.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Monday, March 8, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary
Today is my best girl's birthday. Last year, there was little fuss. This year, she really knows what is going on. "I want a bunny. You buy it for me." Yeah, right...
It is also the anniversary of when I became a mommy. During labor, our midwife kept saying, "You're becoming a mother." At the time, I thought something like, "What a redundant thing to say, I know that!" But she was right, labor prepares us for the true pain of motherhood: worrying over our children, feeling their pain as our own.
So, today I'm celebrating my daughter's birthday, but also my birth as a mother and how thankful I am for that.
The birthday:
1st Birthday:
Two!
And many, many more.
It is also the anniversary of when I became a mommy. During labor, our midwife kept saying, "You're becoming a mother." At the time, I thought something like, "What a redundant thing to say, I know that!" But she was right, labor prepares us for the true pain of motherhood: worrying over our children, feeling their pain as our own.
So, today I'm celebrating my daughter's birthday, but also my birth as a mother and how thankful I am for that.
The birthday:
1st Birthday:
Two!
And many, many more.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Reader's Resource - Raising Your Spirited Child
With the advent of the dreaded twos - which, I'm told are dwarfed by the threes - I found myself in need of a little advice. Between a two year-old (nearly), a newborn, and graduate school I am not feeling particularly creative when it comes to discipline or explanations or the ability to answer the same question for the seventieth time in a row. I am feeling a bit more centered, a bit more grateful and more able to understand my dear daughter. Knowing that I'm not alone helped.
"Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (I don't get any kickbacks) felt like something I could have written... well, the descriptions of a "spirited child," not the advice. Simply this book may allow you to see your child in a new way, a more positive one. By changing the words used to describe the traditionally "strong-willed" child, I was granted the ability to accept, and appreciate my wonderful daughter's unique, spirited, vivacious personality.
I should note that I found the book a bit light on actual advice. However, I found it to be incredibly valuable as a parenting resource because of the attitude it encourages you to adopt concerning a child that might require a bit more effort at times.
I loved how she describes how a parent might first learn that they have a spirited child. Perhaps it was while you were still pregnant and those kicks felt harder than what other women described or what you experienced with other pregnancies. Or maybe it was when your cousin had the "good baby" at the family reunion.
My daughter is my first so I initially thought that babies were all "demanding" or as Dr. Sears says "high needs" or "holding high standards." I can now appreciate and love that she has always known what she wants and won't back down from trying to get it.
If you're in search of a new outlook or just a few words of encouragement as you try to move forward as a gentle parent, this might be a good match.
"Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (I don't get any kickbacks) felt like something I could have written... well, the descriptions of a "spirited child," not the advice. Simply this book may allow you to see your child in a new way, a more positive one. By changing the words used to describe the traditionally "strong-willed" child, I was granted the ability to accept, and appreciate my wonderful daughter's unique, spirited, vivacious personality.
I should note that I found the book a bit light on actual advice. However, I found it to be incredibly valuable as a parenting resource because of the attitude it encourages you to adopt concerning a child that might require a bit more effort at times.
I loved how she describes how a parent might first learn that they have a spirited child. Perhaps it was while you were still pregnant and those kicks felt harder than what other women described or what you experienced with other pregnancies. Or maybe it was when your cousin had the "good baby" at the family reunion.
My daughter is my first so I initially thought that babies were all "demanding" or as Dr. Sears says "high needs" or "holding high standards." I can now appreciate and love that she has always known what she wants and won't back down from trying to get it.
If you're in search of a new outlook or just a few words of encouragement as you try to move forward as a gentle parent, this might be a good match.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Toddler Serenity Prayer
My mantra for the day... or year:
God grant me the serenity to accept that I have a two year-old;
The courage to know I cannot change her;
And the wisdom to back down from arguments I can't win.
God grant me the serenity to accept that I have a two year-old;
The courage to know I cannot change her;
And the wisdom to back down from arguments I can't win.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Mommy Brain
This syndrome begins "Pregnancy Brain" and has progresses to "Mommy Brain." I am writing about the phenomena surrounding caring for another human being and the incredible strain it places on your mental aptitude. The symptoms include, but are not limited to: the inability to carry on an adult conversation, the loss of math skills (we're talking grade-school level here), and general ineptitude. Surprisingly, subjects' symptoms seem to disappear when questioned about their own children.
The first trimester I was tired and oh, so very, very dumb. The second semester, still tired but a bit better in that department... still quite stupid. Well, I had my baby and just about the time things started to improve after the birth of said child from within my body and the hormones began to subside. I could almost carry on a conversation of pre-pregnancy caliber again when sleep deprivation began to take its toll.
I don't mean to imply that I am or was the intellectual or conversational equivalent of... Mommy Brain has struck again. Most days ask me my age, name or any other relevant information and I won't have a clue. I may stare at you expressionlessly. And yet, through all this I can remember every aspect, every detail concerning my child.
The first trimester I was tired and oh, so very, very dumb. The second semester, still tired but a bit better in that department... still quite stupid. Well, I had my baby and just about the time things started to improve after the birth of said child from within my body and the hormones began to subside. I could almost carry on a conversation of pre-pregnancy caliber again when sleep deprivation began to take its toll.
I don't mean to imply that I am or was the intellectual or conversational equivalent of... Mommy Brain has struck again. Most days ask me my age, name or any other relevant information and I won't have a clue. I may stare at you expressionlessly. And yet, through all this I can remember every aspect, every detail concerning my child.
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