Mothering Mondays - A Break

No, I'm not taking a break from this blog (again). I am just reminded through my conversations with other mothers how hard we can be on ourselves. I found myself incredibly depressed, depriving my child simply because I was trying so hard to be that perfect mother. I stressed over the words-per-hour she heard, whether or not I was playing the right games or music... I found myself reading about what I should be doing, feeling guilty I wasn't doing it rather than just doing what came naturally.

Giving yourself a break can be incredibly liberating. Sometimes that means going to get your "hair done" (my break of choice when I can manage), other times it means that a dinner from scratch isn't going to happen, or just allowing yourself to enjoy being a mother, relaxing and taking a deep breath. Being there for your kiddos is all they really need or want.

Happy Birthday, Happy Anniversary

Today is my best girl's birthday. Last year, there was little fuss. This year, she really knows what is going on. "I want a bunny. You buy it for me." Yeah, right...


It is also the anniversary of when I became a mommy. During labor, our midwife kept saying, "You're becoming a mother." At the time, I thought something like, "What a redundant thing to say, I know that!" But she was right, labor prepares us for the true pain of motherhood: worrying over our children, feeling their pain as our own.


So, today I'm celebrating my daughter's birthday, but also my birth as a mother and how thankful I am for that.

The birthday:



1st Birthday:



Two!







And many, many more.

Reader's Resource - Raising Your Spirited Child

With the advent of the dreaded twos - which, I'm told are dwarfed by the threes - I found myself in need of a little advice. Between a two year-old (nearly), a newborn, and graduate school I am not feeling particularly creative when it comes to discipline or explanations or the ability to answer the same question for the seventieth time in a row. I am feeling a bit more centered, a bit more grateful and more able to understand my dear daughter. Knowing that I'm not alone helped.

"Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (I don't get any kickbacks) felt like something I could have written... well, the descriptions of a "spirited child," not the advice. Simply this book may allow you to see your child in a new way, a more positive one. By changing the words used to describe the traditionally "strong-willed" child, I was granted the ability to accept, and appreciate my wonderful daughter's unique, spirited, vivacious personality.

I should note that I found the book a bit light on actual advice. However, I found it to be incredibly valuable as a parenting resource because of the attitude it encourages you to adopt concerning a child that might require a bit more effort at times.

I loved how she describes how a parent might first learn that they have a spirited child. Perhaps it was while you were still pregnant and those kicks felt harder than what other women described or what you experienced with other pregnancies. Or maybe it was when your cousin had the "good baby" at the family reunion.

My daughter is my first so I initially thought that babies were all "demanding" or as Dr. Sears says "high needs" or "holding high standards." I can now appreciate and love that she has always known what she wants and won't back down from trying to get it.

If you're in search of a new outlook or just a few words of encouragement as you try to move forward as a gentle parent, this might be a good match.

Mothering Mondays - Simon's Birthday

How to start?

My dear son’s pregnancy was not an easy one… one in which I found myself wallowing in pity for a time. At 18 weeks I was diagnosed with a complete placenta previa and put on partial bed rest and told to wean my 18 month-old daughter after a bought of bleeding. Selfishly, I questioned why it had to be me, why couldn’t it be someone who already had a cesarean scheduled, someone to whom it wouldn’t matter? Why did it have to be me with these best-laid plans (for a natural pregnancy and birth)?

Then, I decided to take action. Regardless of the warnings that complete previas seldom resolve, I chose to try my best to resolve it. Acupuncture, homeopathic tinctures and positive thinking/prayer… I’m not sure what did it but the previa resolved within two months – not only had my placenta moved enough (4 cm) but it had moved completely out of the way (10cm). The midwives cleared me for a natural delivery and I was able to pick my dear daughter again.

We chose not to find out the sex – really hard with multiple ultrasounds to observe the previa. But somehow we both thought it was a boy (my dear husband has a way of knowing things – knew I was pregnant before I did, knew DD was a girl, etc). In my mind, for whatever reason, I have always thought that boys were harder to birth and more likely to involve complicated labors. So I was scared, especially after the previa made me question my own body.

In preparation for the birth, I reread all my birthing books, started a regimen of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, and thought happy thoughts. I had prodromal labor for a few weeks – I thought the baby was coming as early as Christmas Eve. He didn’t show up for over two more weeks. Almost everyday I’d have a few contractions that didn’t go anywhere – but were real contractions.

We went in for the weekly appointment with the midwives on Tuesday and I decided to let them check me… something I wouldn’t have considered even a few days before… funny how that last stretch of pregnancy makes you willing to do almost anything to get labor started. The midwife told us she didn’t think it would be long… And she was right. (Same scenario with dear daughter.)

We came home, went about our normal day and then around dinnertime the contractions started coming more regularly. My mother came to bathe dear daughter and I told her I thought this was the real deal so Lucy went for her first slumber party. (I knew a nearly two year-old was not what I needed in labor.) My dear husband was wonderfully attentive, asking what I needed, getting the living room warm – I shivered terribly.

After an hour or so of regular contractions we moved into the bedroom so I could lie down and rest. The contractions were coming regularly and lasting but I didn’t want to go to the hospital too soon (and yet we had about an hour’s drive). When I stood, the contractions were right on top of each other, but slowed when I would lie back down. The midwife suggested we come in and so dear husband bundled me up, and off we went – with him guiding me over the ice and snow packed everywhere.

At the hospital, they whisked me upstairs, did some monitoring… less than with dear daughter, but still, ugh. I was allowed to lie on my side this time (I was on my back while they monitored me the first time) which was infinitely easier. While I was being monitored, the midwives (we lucked out and got two!) filled the birthing tub.

I climbed in, certainly feeling ready to push, but wanting to wait for the water. Heaven! The water eased everything, the contractions, the pressure as I pushed. Within ten minutes of entering the tub, I felt the baby crowning (no “ring of fire” this time) and then he was here… our midwife caught him and then he was on my chest, in my arms.

My first glimpse of him, I thought he looked like a football player – thick, broad, strong. Oh, that delightful squishy, wet baby feel, that fresh-from-the-womb smell (we didn’t bathe him for days – soaking in all we could).

Simon Atticus

9 pounds, 11 ounces

21 inches long

1:58 in the Morning

Toddler Serenity Prayer

My mantra for the day... or year:

God grant me the serenity to accept that I have a two year-old;
The courage to know I cannot change her;
And the wisdom to back down from arguments I can't win.