On the beauty of pregnancy and birth...

I can't believe that I'm saying this but, I came across something today that made me *almost* miss being pregnant and the anticipation that brings... More accurately, it made me mourn that I will likely never give birth again, never hear my own first baby-cry again. I never thought I was one of those birth-junkie types. It also made my (only slightly) question my decision to get a degree in library science instead of nurse-midwifery - the primary factor being the family-friendly nature of being a librarian over being a midwife - although I suspect I'll revisit my decision many times in the course of my years.

This post isn't a forum for me to debate my school and career decisions though. I'm really looking forward to seeing this movie. Le Premier Cri looks beautiful, exquisitely filmed, capturing the strength of the women involved and the power of birth.

Ugh-O-Rama

So... I just stumbled on a blog that really steams my grits. The Homebirth Debate captured my attention with its title. I thought, "How great! Somewhere women can become educated about the pros and cons of hospital and homebirth [or unassisted or whatever one might choose]." What a misnomer! That I'm even dedicating a post to the blog irritates me, I just can't stop thinking about the amount of incorrect, incendiary information on that site.

"Dr. Amy" [credentials in question] is a pundit on the subject of birth, espousing her own beliefs with little regard for others opinions or the facts in her O'Reilly style "No Spin Zone."

As someone who has had two wonderful births (she only uses "natural" in quotes and a derogatory fashion), the thought that this women claims to care for women is ludicrous. She returns to the mentality that epidurals are a feminist-drug - allowing women to escape from the pain of labor so that they are equal with men. I will not try to explain why that is ridiculous here - there is plenty of information out there on what can go wrong with epidurals, designer births, etc. Birth moved out of the home into the hospital because that was supposed to make it safer, but what we see is monitoring which leads, too often, to unnecessary intervention.

This tirade is not to say that I don't support all my sisters out there who want or need medical assistance during their births - I certainly believe that drugs and intervention have their place - just not in a normal, natural birth - when a women desires a drug and intervention-free labor.

Dr. Amy bashes midwives, waterbirth, homebirth, women who feel they were wronged during their births - think a PTSD-induced birth trauma scenario. It all just left me feeling yucky.

Dr. Amy has now moved her blog to the Skeptical OB - the comments on c-section there seem a *little* less biased but also just less opinionated - she states the "facts" - albeit one-sided that support her opinion.

I have to stop here because, well, I've already taken up too much space with this nonsense.

Mothering Mondays - Simon's Birthday

How to start?

My dear son’s pregnancy was not an easy one… one in which I found myself wallowing in pity for a time. At 18 weeks I was diagnosed with a complete placenta previa and put on partial bed rest and told to wean my 18 month-old daughter after a bought of bleeding. Selfishly, I questioned why it had to be me, why couldn’t it be someone who already had a cesarean scheduled, someone to whom it wouldn’t matter? Why did it have to be me with these best-laid plans (for a natural pregnancy and birth)?

Then, I decided to take action. Regardless of the warnings that complete previas seldom resolve, I chose to try my best to resolve it. Acupuncture, homeopathic tinctures and positive thinking/prayer… I’m not sure what did it but the previa resolved within two months – not only had my placenta moved enough (4 cm) but it had moved completely out of the way (10cm). The midwives cleared me for a natural delivery and I was able to pick my dear daughter again.

We chose not to find out the sex – really hard with multiple ultrasounds to observe the previa. But somehow we both thought it was a boy (my dear husband has a way of knowing things – knew I was pregnant before I did, knew DD was a girl, etc). In my mind, for whatever reason, I have always thought that boys were harder to birth and more likely to involve complicated labors. So I was scared, especially after the previa made me question my own body.

In preparation for the birth, I reread all my birthing books, started a regimen of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, and thought happy thoughts. I had prodromal labor for a few weeks – I thought the baby was coming as early as Christmas Eve. He didn’t show up for over two more weeks. Almost everyday I’d have a few contractions that didn’t go anywhere – but were real contractions.

We went in for the weekly appointment with the midwives on Tuesday and I decided to let them check me… something I wouldn’t have considered even a few days before… funny how that last stretch of pregnancy makes you willing to do almost anything to get labor started. The midwife told us she didn’t think it would be long… And she was right. (Same scenario with dear daughter.)

We came home, went about our normal day and then around dinnertime the contractions started coming more regularly. My mother came to bathe dear daughter and I told her I thought this was the real deal so Lucy went for her first slumber party. (I knew a nearly two year-old was not what I needed in labor.) My dear husband was wonderfully attentive, asking what I needed, getting the living room warm – I shivered terribly.

After an hour or so of regular contractions we moved into the bedroom so I could lie down and rest. The contractions were coming regularly and lasting but I didn’t want to go to the hospital too soon (and yet we had about an hour’s drive). When I stood, the contractions were right on top of each other, but slowed when I would lie back down. The midwife suggested we come in and so dear husband bundled me up, and off we went – with him guiding me over the ice and snow packed everywhere.

At the hospital, they whisked me upstairs, did some monitoring… less than with dear daughter, but still, ugh. I was allowed to lie on my side this time (I was on my back while they monitored me the first time) which was infinitely easier. While I was being monitored, the midwives (we lucked out and got two!) filled the birthing tub.

I climbed in, certainly feeling ready to push, but wanting to wait for the water. Heaven! The water eased everything, the contractions, the pressure as I pushed. Within ten minutes of entering the tub, I felt the baby crowning (no “ring of fire” this time) and then he was here… our midwife caught him and then he was on my chest, in my arms.

My first glimpse of him, I thought he looked like a football player – thick, broad, strong. Oh, that delightful squishy, wet baby feel, that fresh-from-the-womb smell (we didn’t bathe him for days – soaking in all we could).

Simon Atticus

9 pounds, 11 ounces

21 inches long

1:58 in the Morning

When I get to it...

I believe in the importance of sharing birth stories - positive birth stories and sometimes scary ones as well. They are powerful, personal experiences which women have stopped sharing with each other - fearing that we might alienate each other.

Here's an idea, become a birth-choice advocate. It frees you to take a non-judgmental, neutral, supportive position. Once, I was a natural-birth advocate and I certainly still am for my own family and any woman who knows that's what is best for her and her own family. However, women who are not interested in natural childbirth for any number of reasons may feel judged and they have certainly lashed out at me for my choices. In no way can I define or experience another person's pain - I have not lived their life. And certainly, I have been blessed with a supportive partner, mother and family who have helped me stick to my choices and my labors have been textbook - slightly longer but not by much.

A healthy fear inspired me to thoroughly prepare for labor and birth - as well as you can prepare. And in our childbirth preparation classes they introduced me to a novel idea: many women prepare for birth but few for breastfeeding - preparing essentially for something that (hopefully) lasts less than a day while neglecting a relationship that will (again, hopefully) last a year or more. We have been told that breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, what we are not told is that it is a learned behavior and we might not have grown up seeing it, and there may be challenges that we cannot possibly anticipate.

All this is to say that I will be sharing my boy's birth story when I can get to it...

Updatery

I have come to the conclusion that blogging and graduate school do not mix... This should be evident by my lack of posts over the last few months. Well, now it's winter break so here's
some updates...


I am about three weeks away from due date of baby #2... Feeling fat and sassy.

Some knitting has been accomplished:

For the new baby.... Munchkin Hat on ravelry


And matching for big sis...





A little sweater for a dear friend's boy - Joelle Hoverson's Child's Placket-Neck Pullover also on ravelry...


And, a delightful knit... the Baby Sophisticate pattern, also from ravelry









So many more things to do before our new addition gets here. Now that finals are over I feel I can officially "nest" and settle in for a while. Oh, if that weren't for the massive piles of laundry that have been growing steadily during finals, the mending... I guess that's all part of the nesting though.

If you'll excuse me, I hear the vacuum calling my name.

Growing

A beautiful day for a walk into the garden:




Feeling a bit like Mr. McGregor:






Still getting pattypans (or scallop squash if you prefer):



Beets, beets:






"Volunteer" tomatoes under the rotating compost bin:




A beautiful heirloom pumpkin... but tiny.




Mystery squash:





A volunteer butternut that took up housekeeping on the side of the big compost bin:



And what I've been working on:

where we're at

Wowie! Six months has passed and while I hadn't quite forgotten about this blog hanging out here in cyberspace, it's obviously been low on my list of things-to-do.

What has been at the top of said to-do list:

Dear Daughter - so many changes. She's 16 months old now. Talking, walking, running, eating every fruity thing in sight - leaving her father and I to wonder if she isn't somehow part monkey or other arboreal creature.

Graduate School - the applying to and eventually being accepted. I can now gladly report that I will begin graduate school in the fall in hopes of becoming your friendly neighborhood librarian.

Growing People - there's another one on the way. Due around the beginning of next year. That has taken a lot out of me lately. Well, it likely has a little to do with chasing around an energetic toddler as well.

Not to mention: gardening (and what a great garden it is - more on that later), cooking (trying - sometimes failing miserably- new things), loving the chickens, natural harvest of wild berries that are starting to come in, lots of swimming, yoga, and scrambling for quiet moments to myself... I think I'll go grab one now.